Bombs Away

I need to know your willing to do this with me, all of you. That this isn't just a dream on paper, developed in the wee hours of a hot summer night. We humans are a slave to our impulses, we can choose to control them or we can take this situation and jump blindly. Choose to let go of inhibitions, choose to jump. What do we have to lose besides an expereience of a lifetime!

From the moment I saw you laughing at the desk, I knew. Four months later and one week until move out I took a leap with the assurance of the girls. You followed suit and that last week was heaven. Over three months later and a new semester I question where we are, if it will blossom to more. The intensity of that leap left us in heated passion, clouded minds and a lingering sweet scent, I took the lead and now I need you to decide where it goes from here. I put it in your hands. My toes are inching towards the edge for a fina leap, will you hold my hand?

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket...but I've never seen one

As I tell my friends I left you the week before move in, I feel the tug of a guilty lie. You love me more than ever as our two year anni. quickly approaches. I find the words easily played out and perfectly said inside my head, but as you call me late at night or I ignore your text I freeze and unemotionally say the ritualistic words back to you. I promise I'm not wanting to have this affair and be the unfaithful one, I just can't bring myself to make the final disconnection.
I want you to know I've found someone new, the same guy I visited this summer when I told you I was just going to visit some college friends. He's close by, not as much distance as you and I have; he's not as experienced as you, but he's a good guy, you would get along with him. Just for now, I need him, not you.
I don't want to be the selfish girl, the girl who plays with two hearts at once, along with her own, but I can't let you go somehow. I see us married within five years, a beautiful home with at least two children shortly after that, both of us successful in our careers, but right now, at this stage I need the spontaneous new guy who takes me on new adventures, I need your stablity later. When we both graduate college, I need you to wait for me until then. If I leave you, you won't wait.


P.S. I've been writing blogs, but have been unable to post on the blog recently, so here are a few blogs all at once.